Me Time

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Mark Wahlberg played a shirtless man-child for an entire movie while Kevin Hart screamed his way through a predictable series of “comedic” disasters, then congratulations—you may be the target audience for Me Time. For the rest of us, this Netflix Original is a cautionary tale about what happens when you take two talented actors, strip them of any good material, and let an algorithm write a screenplay.

Directed by John Hamburg (the guy behind I Love You, Man and Along Came Polly), Me Time is what happens when someone takes the dad finally lets loose trope, mashes it up with extreme bro culture, and somehow forgets to add actual humor along the way. It’s a buddy comedy where the buddy dynamic mostly consists of Wahlberg acting like an overgrown teenager and Hart reacting as though someone just threw a beehive at his face.

The Plot (If You Can Call It That)

Kevin Hart plays Sonny Fisher, a devoted stay-at-home dad who, in classic sitcom fashion, has spent so much time being responsible that he has forgotten how to have fun. His ultra-successful wife (Regina Hall, tragically underutilized) takes the kids on vacation, leaving Sonny with the rare opportunity to cut loose. Enter Huck Dembo (Mark Wahlberg), Sonny’s childhood best friend who has somehow not evolved past the mentality of a 22-year-old who thinks getting wasted and base-jumping off cliffs is peak existence. Huck invites Sonny to his extravagant 44th birthday bash, and from there, we embark on an increasingly chaotic series of events that involve tortoises, loan sharks, and Wahlberg doing a lot of things naked.

If that premise sounds familiar, that’s because it’s been done approximately 4,000 times before—and usually better. The Hangover, Old School, Tag, Grown Ups… basically any movie where middle-aged dudes attempt to recapture their youth while yelling a lot. Me Time takes all those familiar beats and removes anything remotely original, leaving us with a story that goes through the motions without ever feeling like it has a reason to exist.

Kevin Hart Screams, Mark Wahlberg Takes His Clothes Off

Kevin Hart is a naturally funny guy. Mark Wahlberg can be great when he leans into self-parody (The Other Guys, Ted). So why does this movie make them both feel so exhausting? The problem isn’t the actors; it’s the script, which leans so heavily on their personas that it forgets to give them anything interesting to do.

Hart spends the majority of the film in a state of perpetual panic, whether he’s being chased by a mountain lion or attempting to repair his marriage. Wahlberg, on the other hand, plays Huck as an overgrown frat boy who somehow hasn’t figured out that running away from your problems in your forties isn’t charming; it’s just sad. If you’ve ever wanted to see Wahlberg naked in the desert for no particular reason, this movie has you covered. If you were hoping for a compelling character arc, well… maybe check out The Departed instead.

Comedy (Or Lack Thereof)

You can tell Me Time thinks it’s funny because it keeps throwing wacky set pieces at us as if sheer volume will compensate for a lack of actual jokes. There’s a party gone wrong, a golf course disaster, a literal poop joke, and even a subplot involving an angry loan shark played by Jimmy O. Yang, who deserves so much better. The problem? None of it lands. The timing feels off, the gags are stale, and the entire movie seems to be operating under the assumption that watching Wahlberg and Hart flail around is inherently hilarious.

Even Regina Hall, one of the funniest comedic actresses working today, is relegated to the thankless role of “straight-faced wife who doesn’t understand why her husband is acting like a lunatic.” She does her best with what little she’s given, but you can almost see the moment she realizes this movie isn’t worth the effort.

The Verdict: Me Time? More Like Waste of Time

There’s a certain kind of Netflix movie that exists purely as background noise—the kind you put on when you need to fold laundry or scroll through your phone. Me Time fits squarely into that category. It’s not offensively bad, but it’s aggressively forgettable, the kind of comedy that evaporates from your brain the second the credits roll.

Is it worth watching? Only if you have an undying love for Wahlberg’s abs or Kevin Hart’s high-pitched screaming. Otherwise, your time would be much better spent revisiting The Other Guys or Ride Along.

Final Verdict: 2 out of 5 wasted Regina Halls.