The VelociPastor

The VelociPastor, directed by Brendan Steere and released in 2018, is a movie that defies conventional expectations and embraces its absurdity with open arms. This low-budget indie film delivers a wildly imaginative concept that combines martial arts, dinosaurs, and a clergyman with surprising results.

Plot-wise, The VelociPastor follows the journey of Father Doug Jones (Greg Cohan), a mild-mannered priest who discovers he has the extraordinary ability to transform into a dinosaur after a tragic event. As he grapples with his newfound powers, he embarks on a vigilante mission to rid the world of evil, encountering ninjas, assassins, and unexpected allies along the way.

The film’s tone is intentionally over-the-top, embracing its campy nature and never taking itself too seriously. It fully embraces its low-budget charm and revels in its B-movie aesthetic. The intentionally cheesy dialogue and tongue-in-cheek humor add to the overall charm, creating a sense of fun and self-awareness that permeates the entire film.

While the acting in The VelociPastor is intentionally exaggerated to fit the film’s outrageous concept, Greg Cohan delivers an unexpectedly committed and sincere performance as Father Doug. His earnest portrayal grounds the film amidst all the chaos, and his chemistry with Alyssa Kempinski, who plays Carol, a love interest with her own secrets, brings an endearing dynamic to the story.

Brendan Steere’s direction showcases his passion for this offbeat project, and he successfully captures the essence of a pulpy grindhouse flick. The special effects, while intentionally cheesy and budget-constrained, add to the film’s quirky charm and serve as a nostalgic nod to low-budget creature features of the past.

The editing and pace of The VelociPastor maintain a brisk tempo, never allowing the film to dwell for too long on any particular scene. This keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story, making it an enjoyable watch from start to finish. The film’s DIY aesthetic and intentionally rough editing style contribute to its overall charm.

While the production design and cinematography may not reach the heights of big-budget blockbusters, they effectively capture the spirit of the film. The creative use of practical effects, like miniature models and homemade props, adds to the film’s DIY charm and showcases the resourcefulness of the filmmakers.

It’s important to note that The VelociPastor is a film that revels in its own absurdity. It embraces its flaws and intentionally takes the audience on a wild and unpredictable ride. It’s not a film to be taken seriously or analyzed deeply; it’s meant to be enjoyed as a piece of unconventional entertainment that celebrates the spirit of independent filmmaking.

While The VelociPastor may not be a masterpiece in terms of technical prowess or profound storytelling, it succeeds in its mission to entertain and leave a lasting impression. It’s a film that knows exactly what it is and unapologetically embraces its quirks and eccentricities.

In conclusion, The VelociPastor is a bizarrely entertaining cult classic that embraces its low-budget charm and delivers a wild and unique cinematic experience. If you’re looking for a film that combines martial arts, dinosaurs, and offbeat humor, this one is worth a watch. Just sit back, suspend your disbelief, and allow yourself to be swept away by its absurdity.