The VelociPastor

Released on: 13 Aug 2019 • Rated: Not Rated • Runtime: 75 min

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy

Director: Brendan Steere
Writer: Brendan Steere
Actors: Greg Cohan, George Schewnzer, Janice Young

Plot: After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

Box Office Gross: N/A

Awards: 1 win & 2 nominations








After witnessing his parents death in a gang related car bombing, Priest Doug (Cohan), takes a sabbatical to China where he inadvertently receives the gift of…well, turning into a velociraptor. He uses his newfound power to rescue a prostitute, kill her pimp, fight crime, and fight ninjas, because of course there are ninjas.

This is one of those movies that was made to be terrible but also terribly funny. There are other films I have written about where the writers believed they were making a masterpiece, this is not one of those films. The VelociPaster is meant to be funny, strange, and over-the-top. For one thing, Doug is a priest and not a pastor, but I’m assuming they went with pastor because it works in the title and made him a priest because it’s easier to recognize a priest than a pastor. Doug struggles with his new abilities until his new hooker friend, Carol, who is only hooking to help pay for medical school and law school, which she is attending simultaneously, convinces him that it would be “godly” to use his powers to fight crime.

Unless you are really a fan of silly movies, you may want to be intoxicated (only drink legally and responsibly) when you check this one out!

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